The Spawn

Children. The very word is enough to strike fear into the heart of the bravest man. It sends chills down your spine. It makes your gut churn and your heart race and your stomach lurch.

No? Okay, well maybe not always. But there has to have been a time or two when you've come across a child that made you think, yes, there is an Antichrist. Don't deny it, don't be ashamed! It happens to the best of us. One minute it's all, "Aww, how adorable! Let's call it Spot!" and then the next you're running for your very life! Screaming in terror! Let me out, let me out, it's got a gun! Oh, God help us all!!!! Ooh, sorry, flashback.....

Anyways, so Pooky and I babysat the other day...

It started off harmless enough, with a girl of three who was just as cute as a button (wtf does that even mean?) until Pooky made the mistake of mentioning...nap time.

Now, as most sane people know, the word Nap said in front of a child is a horrid thing. It evokes the wrath of the dark, evil thing lurking within them. It releases the Kraken, so to speak. Pooky, though, bless her idiotic little soul, is not most people, and MOST definitely is not sane. So it went like this....

Pooky- Wow, it's getting late, time for somebody to take a-
Spooky- Nooooooooo! Don't say it!
Pooky- What? What!?
Spooky- Just don't say it so that...It....can hear...
Pooky- Her name is Kaeli...what is your problem...wait a minute, you got into the booze cabinet didn't you!
Spooky- That's beside the point...
Pooky- You...are fired. Okay Kaeli, time for a-
Spooky- Noooo!
Pooky- Shut. Up. Time for a nap, little girl.
The Antichrist- Roooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pooky and Spooky- .....Holy Fuck.....

A Few hours later while hiding in the closet:

Spooky- I told you not to say it.
Pooky- Shut. Up.

So, the moral of this story? Beware. Just...beware.....